Merry Christmas,
STEFAN
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
"HAPPY HOLIDAYS"
Merry Christmas,
STEFAN
"Hate, Lust, and Loving Doppelgangers"
It's good to be back with her. I couldn't wait to hold her, touch her skin, and taste her lips. I love this girl with all my heart. Nothing will ever change how I feel. I just question how will I be able to fight off the evil temptation that lurks around the corner, waiting for me to slip up. Let me start at the beginning.
I was trapped in the tomb earlier with the vindictive, spiteful, Katherine. She tried every dirty trick in the book to sway my love away from, Elena. You would think by now she would get the hint that it's not working. My love for Elena will never die. We have a connection that I never had with Katherine. The sight of her sickens me and when she tries to touch me, I feel nothing. Katherine played dirty by getting in my head, showing off her body in flimsy undergarments. The temptation crippled me slightly but I held my own before I got lost in lust with a woman that has no Soul. The repulsiveness is what made me remember that she's not to be trusted, ever. I tried to give her a chance to come clean and tell me what I needed to do to protect, Elena. For a split second, Katherine weakened. She told me to track down, Isobel.
I would have gotten more out of her when we heard a loud sound coming from the front of the tomb. I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. Elijah stood at the door. I thought Damon had killed him. Apparently, he's a lot stronger than any of us anticipated. Katherine was frightened. I didn't know what Elijah showing up at the tomb was all about until he said my freedom was requested by Elena. I thought he was joking. I slowly eased out the tomb, guarded by what was to come when Elijah blocked the doorway to speak to Katherine. She was very afraid. I had no sympathy for her. Elijah said Elena made a deal with him. I didn't hesitate to look at Katherine one last time and say goodbye. She begged me to not leave her but that's exactly what I did.
Now Elena and I are back together and our love for one another is stronger than ever. I hope Damon will move on with his life. I love my brother. I can't deny that I've always looked up to him, even with all the bad he has done, I see the good in Damon underneath it all. I want him to find the kind of love I've found with Elena, one day. The one thing that I can't allow to happen is history repeating itself. It would damage the progress we've been making but I haven't turned a blind-eye to the fact that we're both in love with the same woman, either. I will fight for Elena until my last breath, even if I have to sacrifice myrelationship with my brother.
I was trapped in the tomb earlier with the vindictive, spiteful, Katherine. She tried every dirty trick in the book to sway my love away from, Elena. You would think by now she would get the hint that it's not working. My love for Elena will never die. We have a connection that I never had with Katherine. The sight of her sickens me and when she tries to touch me, I feel nothing. Katherine played dirty by getting in my head, showing off her body in flimsy undergarments. The temptation crippled me slightly but I held my own before I got lost in lust with a woman that has no Soul. The repulsiveness is what made me remember that she's not to be trusted, ever. I tried to give her a chance to come clean and tell me what I needed to do to protect, Elena. For a split second, Katherine weakened. She told me to track down, Isobel.
I would have gotten more out of her when we heard a loud sound coming from the front of the tomb. I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. Elijah stood at the door. I thought Damon had killed him. Apparently, he's a lot stronger than any of us anticipated. Katherine was frightened. I didn't know what Elijah showing up at the tomb was all about until he said my freedom was requested by Elena. I thought he was joking. I slowly eased out the tomb, guarded by what was to come when Elijah blocked the doorway to speak to Katherine. She was very afraid. I had no sympathy for her. Elijah said Elena made a deal with him. I didn't hesitate to look at Katherine one last time and say goodbye. She begged me to not leave her but that's exactly what I did.
Now Elena and I are back together and our love for one another is stronger than ever. I hope Damon will move on with his life. I love my brother. I can't deny that I've always looked up to him, even with all the bad he has done, I see the good in Damon underneath it all. I want him to find the kind of love I've found with Elena, one day. The one thing that I can't allow to happen is history repeating itself. It would damage the progress we've been making but I haven't turned a blind-eye to the fact that we're both in love with the same woman, either. I will fight for Elena until my last breath, even if I have to sacrifice my
"A Dick Move Cost Me"
Good thing I keep a small Journal in my pocket. Well, I'll get to that in a minute. The day started with Damon and I paying a visit to the tomb to talk Katherine into handing over the moonstone. I knew she wouldn't go along with it unless we reversed the spell to get her out of the tomb. Katherine may be weak but her conniving ways and dry wit were dead on. Our next stop was Elena's house and from the moment she opened the door, there was something different about her. We told Elena about our visit to Katherine and how Bonnie was willing to help us. Damon and I knew Elena wasn't thrilled but everything we do is to protect her. Elena told us that she didn't want our help and she wasn't willing to risk losing the people she cared about. Damon had no words, making me wonder should I be worried that he's fallen for her. I'm not oblivious to it all and I know Elena loves me and that is one thing that will never change. Our relationship has been rocky over the last few weeks with Katherine returning and the fact that the 'Original' vamps will come to capture her for Klaus. I would be lying if I didn't say I hate the distance that keeps growing between us. For a split second I didn't think Elena was going to invite us in.
Damon and I convinced Bonnie to help us retrieve the moonstone from Katherine in the tomb. Jeremy volunteered to play the hero and Damon was clearly not happy. He hates the fact that Jeremy knows as much as he does. In a way, I agree with him. Jeremy being involved could get him killed. We can barely protect Elena as it is and Jeremy being around could complicate matters. To prove my point, Jeremy went to the tomb, got in, found the moonstone and in the process he wasn't able to keep Katherine down long enough before she caught him. The spiteful bitch made a meal out of him, knowing his ring would protect him. By the time I got there her lips were stained in blood with Jeremy standing beside her with blood oozing from his neck. Bonnie tried to lift the tomb spell, thinking she had the strength to do so and failed. Katherine was about to keep feasting on Jeremy when I rush in and tossed him out the tomb. Dammit, that was a dick move.
Now here I am with Katherine, in the tomb and she's acting like she won the lottery. Katherine is ogling me and saying all kinds of flirty comments to get a rise out of me. Just a short time ago, Damon and Elena argued outside the tomb. Damon forbid Elena from coming in after me, reminding her that she needed to be safe and he would make sure she was protected. I knew Katherine would throw that in my face by warning me it was the worst move ever, for me to make Damon promise to protect, Elena. I know the risks. I've known all along this day might come. Now, I have to stay strong enough to deal with Katherine and try to steer clear from her inviting temptations.
Damon and I convinced Bonnie to help us retrieve the moonstone from Katherine in the tomb. Jeremy volunteered to play the hero and Damon was clearly not happy. He hates the fact that Jeremy knows as much as he does. In a way, I agree with him. Jeremy being involved could get him killed. We can barely protect Elena as it is and Jeremy being around could complicate matters. To prove my point, Jeremy went to the tomb, got in, found the moonstone and in the process he wasn't able to keep Katherine down long enough before she caught him. The spiteful bitch made a meal out of him, knowing his ring would protect him. By the time I got there her lips were stained in blood with Jeremy standing beside her with blood oozing from his neck. Bonnie tried to lift the tomb spell, thinking she had the strength to do so and failed. Katherine was about to keep feasting on Jeremy when I rush in and tossed him out the tomb. Dammit, that was a dick move.
Now here I am with Katherine, in the tomb and she's acting like she won the lottery. Katherine is ogling me and saying all kinds of flirty comments to get a rise out of me. Just a short time ago, Damon and Elena argued outside the tomb. Damon forbid Elena from coming in after me, reminding her that she needed to be safe and he would make sure she was protected. I knew Katherine would throw that in my face by warning me it was the worst move ever, for me to make Damon promise to protect, Elena. I know the risks. I've known all along this day might come. Now, I have to stay strong enough to deal with Katherine and try to steer clear from her inviting temptations.
"Manipulative Bitch"
Today was tough on me. It was necessary for Elena to come over to the house because Rose was able to explain to her the danger she was in better than Damon and I. I could feel the coldness coming from Elena's body. She's not happy with any of us at the moment. I guess I can understand how she feels, knowing that ever since we met, her life has been turned upside down.
Rose told us about Klaus who is the oldest Vampire and he will come for Elena. My jaw clenched just hearing Rose say Klaus would hurt Elena. I will die protecting the woman I love and I know Damon has my back. I couldn't tell if any of Rose words were registering with Elena who quickly got up and announced she was heading to school. I told her I would go with her but she turned me down. I'm having a hard time understanding how she can act this way with me, after Damon and I saved her from Elijah just yesterday.
I went on to school and ran into Caroline who told me she needed to talk. I hesitated at first but quickly changed my mind. I promised Caroline I woud always be there for her. What I learned is that she's the worse lier. She tried to distract me by dragging me to the Grill to fill me in on how she confessed to Tyler, she was a vampire. At least Caroline was smart enough not to mention the rest of us. I often find humor in Caroline. Her clueless ways and the way she makes me laugh, reminded me a lot of Lexi who was my best friend. Only Caroline was keeping me occupied because Elena was at the tomb, trying to get information out of Katherine. I was so mad at both of them that I couldn't see straight.
I found Elena standing in front of the open tomb door with a bag of supplies for Katherine. Trying to convince Elena that Katherine doesn't know how to tell the truth fell on deaf ears. Elena believed Katherine and seeing a weak Katherine at the door only made me more furious until she told us, Klaus murdered her entire family. After I called her a manipulative, psychotic Bitch, Katherine fired back by telling me she was the safest psychotic Bitch in town. A vampire would be a fool to step foot in the tomb, knowing they could never come out. Elena was stunned, learing Klaus will not stop until she is dead and everyone is in danger.
I took Elena home and she kept saying it's her fault. I tried to reassure her that I would protect her. The truth is I'm not sure I know how to protect her against someone who has so many years on me and who is a lot stronger. As I've said, I will die trying.
Rose told us about Klaus who is the oldest Vampire and he will come for Elena. My jaw clenched just hearing Rose say Klaus would hurt Elena. I will die protecting the woman I love and I know Damon has my back. I couldn't tell if any of Rose words were registering with Elena who quickly got up and announced she was heading to school. I told her I would go with her but she turned me down. I'm having a hard time understanding how she can act this way with me, after Damon and I saved her from Elijah just yesterday.
I went on to school and ran into Caroline who told me she needed to talk. I hesitated at first but quickly changed my mind. I promised Caroline I woud always be there for her. What I learned is that she's the worse lier. She tried to distract me by dragging me to the Grill to fill me in on how she confessed to Tyler, she was a vampire. At least Caroline was smart enough not to mention the rest of us. I often find humor in Caroline. Her clueless ways and the way she makes me laugh, reminded me a lot of Lexi who was my best friend. Only Caroline was keeping me occupied because Elena was at the tomb, trying to get information out of Katherine. I was so mad at both of them that I couldn't see straight.
I found Elena standing in front of the open tomb door with a bag of supplies for Katherine. Trying to convince Elena that Katherine doesn't know how to tell the truth fell on deaf ears. Elena believed Katherine and seeing a weak Katherine at the door only made me more furious until she told us, Klaus murdered her entire family. After I called her a manipulative, psychotic Bitch, Katherine fired back by telling me she was the safest psychotic Bitch in town. A vampire would be a fool to step foot in the tomb, knowing they could never come out. Elena was stunned, learing Klaus will not stop until she is dead and everyone is in danger.
I took Elena home and she kept saying it's her fault. I tried to reassure her that I would protect her. The truth is I'm not sure I know how to protect her against someone who has so many years on me and who is a lot stronger. As I've said, I will die trying.
"Blood and Love Don't Mix"
I’m sitting here in the quiet of the night reflecting on everything that happened today. Elena was kidnapped by not one but two 500 year-old vampires who seemed to think she held the key to their freedom. Jeremy alerted me at school that Elena’s bed was untouched with no traces of her anywhere. We went to Bonnie for her help. This time she was less reluctant, showing genuine concern for her friend. Bonnie used her witchcraft by placing droplets of Jeremy’s blood on a map, showing that Elena was 300 miles away from Mystic Falls. I went into protective boyfriend mode. Finding her became priority number one and in walks my brother. He was also ready to find her.
The road trip with my brother was awkward to say the least. I tried to get his feelings for Elena out in the open but he wasn’t willing to budge. He can’t even admit that he’s in love with Elena. I’m really not sure how I feel about it but it’s something we as brothers will need to deal with before we end up at each other’s throats, like we did over Katherine. Elena has been good for Damon. I will be the first to admit that. Does it bother me? Yes, I would be lying if I said it doesn’t. What worries me is that Damon’s feelings go deeper than I could ever imagine and I’m not sure how to fight them. It’s different from when he was obsessing over Katherine. I love Elena so much and it’s killing me to know that Damon’s love for her could be the end of us. I could tell he was put off when I told him I was drinking small doses of Elena’s blood and fighting with my brother is pointless when at times I feel like I owe him. He wouldn’t be a vampire if it wasn’t for me. I had to apologize for my part in his misery.
We found Elena unharmed but Rose was scared of us or shall I say she was scared of Elijah. Being 500 years-old comes with a strength that Damon and I were not expecting to encounter. We put an end to Elijah, leaving him staked against a door. Elena’s safe and sound at home with her family. I wanted to stay with her. She quickly turned me away. Something happened a short while ago that has me worried. Rose was here. She said they will come for her. Rose said the originals, meaning Klaus who is extremely powerful and wicked. How will we protect her, now?
"Cursed By Love"
Every part of my body is enraged. Damon killed Mason. It had to be done, only Jenna paid the price by being compelled by Katherine to stab herself. I warned Damon not to provoke her. After he killed Mason, he used his phone to call Katherine. Taunting her with his words only made matters worse. How do we begin to fight her?
The pain I feel right now is killing me. Elena came to me to end things. I knew it was coming. We walked around pretending we were done but the whole time, Katherine had Jenna spying on us. The Masquerade Ball was our one chance to trap Katherine. Alaric had all the necessities to take Katherine down and our team consisted of Bonnie, Jeremy, Caroline, Damon and myself. We set the trap and all Katherine needed to do was take the bait. She brought her own witch to the party. Lucy was her name.
I danced with Katherine, only to be blind-sided when Aimee came over, thinking Katherine was Elena. Katherine killed her and left me to hide her body. An hour later, Caroline brought Katherine to the room where Damon and I hid. I could tell my brother was fired up. He was blasting off wooden bullets left and right. Damon was about to stake her until Jeremy ran in to warn us we were hurting, Elena. Katherine had Lucy cast a spell to tie Elena to Katherine. I questioned Katherine on why the moonstone was so important to her when she gave it to George Lockwood in exchange for her freedom in 1864. Of course, Katherine was very evasive with her answers. Damon and I didn't learn anything new from her.
I should have never returned to Mystic Falls. I've made life a living hell for Elena, her family and her friends. My selfish behavior has ruined any chance of Elena having a normal life. At the end of the Ball, Lucy tricked Katherine by placing a spell on the moonstone before handing it over to her. Katherine touched it, fell to the floor and was gasping for air. Damon locked her in the tomb. Hopefully, with her out the way, things for Elena can get back to normal.
The pain I feel right now is killing me. Elena came to me to end things. I knew it was coming. We walked around pretending we were done but the whole time, Katherine had Jenna spying on us. The Masquerade Ball was our one chance to trap Katherine. Alaric had all the necessities to take Katherine down and our team consisted of Bonnie, Jeremy, Caroline, Damon and myself. We set the trap and all Katherine needed to do was take the bait. She brought her own witch to the party. Lucy was her name.
I danced with Katherine, only to be blind-sided when Aimee came over, thinking Katherine was Elena. Katherine killed her and left me to hide her body. An hour later, Caroline brought Katherine to the room where Damon and I hid. I could tell my brother was fired up. He was blasting off wooden bullets left and right. Damon was about to stake her until Jeremy ran in to warn us we were hurting, Elena. Katherine had Lucy cast a spell to tie Elena to Katherine. I questioned Katherine on why the moonstone was so important to her when she gave it to George Lockwood in exchange for her freedom in 1864. Of course, Katherine was very evasive with her answers. Damon and I didn't learn anything new from her.
I should have never returned to Mystic Falls. I've made life a living hell for Elena, her family and her friends. My selfish behavior has ruined any chance of Elena having a normal life. At the end of the Ball, Lucy tricked Katherine by placing a spell on the moonstone before handing it over to her. Katherine touched it, fell to the floor and was gasping for air. Damon locked her in the tomb. Hopefully, with her out the way, things for Elena can get back to normal.
The Vampire Diaries - Stefan Salvatore Journal
Here I am venting, again. I write my thoughts down to keep from going crazy. I came back to Mystic Falls to meet Elena. I had no idea that my return to Mystic Falls would be the worst decision I have ever made. If it wasn't for me, Damon would not have turned Vicki, killed the coach or killed countless others and to top it off, he is starting to have feelings for Elena. The moment I first saw Damon with her, I knew he would be trouble for our relationship. I tried to ignore what's happening before my very eyes and look the other way. I took his concern and feelings for Elena as a sign that Damon was learning how to care, again. I didn't want Damon back in Mystic Falls. There would be nothing good about him being here and it turns out I was right.
What I didn't anticipate was Katherine's return or the fact that Mason Lockwood is a werewolf. This town doesn't need a stray animal on the loose. Damon is provoking him and it almost got us both killed. Not to mention that now I'm trying to help Caroline control her vampire urges. Another monkey wrench that came knocking at my door. I have to teach Caroline that she can live a semi-normal life. She freaked out on me when I told her that draining bunnies is better than intaking human blood. Damon would disagree.
Caroline proved to be quite useful when she saved Damon and I from her mother, Liz. Sheriff Forbes was ready to send us to the gates of hell but we have Caroline to thank for rescuing us. That right there showed me how strong she is with human blood in her system. I'm starting to rethink my decision to not ingest human blood. I can't fight Katherine without it or Mason. Damon says he has a plan to get rid of Katherine once and for all. He's right! The bitch has to die.
What I didn't anticipate was Katherine's return or the fact that Mason Lockwood is a werewolf. This town doesn't need a stray animal on the loose. Damon is provoking him and it almost got us both killed. Not to mention that now I'm trying to help Caroline control her vampire urges. Another monkey wrench that came knocking at my door. I have to teach Caroline that she can live a semi-normal life. She freaked out on me when I told her that draining bunnies is better than intaking human blood. Damon would disagree.
Caroline proved to be quite useful when she saved Damon and I from her mother, Liz. Sheriff Forbes was ready to send us to the gates of hell but we have Caroline to thank for rescuing us. That right there showed me how strong she is with human blood in her system. I'm starting to rethink my decision to not ingest human blood. I can't fight Katherine without it or Mason. Damon says he has a plan to get rid of Katherine once and for all. He's right! The bitch has to die.
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